Wezzul.com - It's the Dinglez

I recently got a WPS54G wireless print server from Linksys. After spending the odd 15 minutes trying to use their setup program to get it to work, and about 45 trying to find out what the static IP is set to on the device, I contacted Linksys Live Chat (I love Live Chats). What follows is my chat with Lailei, #17182:



This is where I gave up. I went out to shoot the shit for my boss, came back, and what follows is when I had some fun with it:



As an aside, I would like to state that plugging a print server into the back of a computer with a regular cat5 cable, and expecting the print server to magically obtain an ip from a computer that isn't running DHCP doesn't really work. Not even for linksys.

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(( Analyst Analyst is here to assist you. ))
advanced_tool_log> user Wezzul has entered room
advanced_tool_log> analyst Karen 4732 has entered room
Analyst> Thank you for contacting Comcast, my name is Karen, I will be happy to assist you with your billing today.
Wezzul> accnt#XXXXXXXXXXX
Analyst> Thank you
Wezzul> was billed $20 for some sort of sevice call
Analyst> How may I help you today?
Wezzul> no idea why
Analyst> Let me check for you
Analyst> For security reasons, Comcast requires the last 4 digits of your SSN. If unavailable, please provide the account number or the last date you made a payment including the amount. Thank you.
Wezzul> XXXX
Analyst> Sorry I do not have an SSN listed on the account.
Wezzul> that makes sense
Wezzul> as far as the last date I made a payment, I have no idea, i do not have the bill in front of me. Let me see if i can login to my account on comcast.com
Wezzul> ...?
Analyst> Thankyou
Wezzul> it will be one second while I login there
Analyst> Thanks
Wezzul> finally getting in..
Wezzul> and of course
Wezzul> my billing history is unavailable
Wezzul> is there any other way for your to verify me?
Analyst> What is the error message?
Wezzul> [pasted the error]
Analyst> they are doing upgrades today so you will have to call in diectlry to technical support at 1-800-266-2278
Analyst> please select the internet option
Wezzul> but I don't want tech support
Analyst> A representative will be able to help you with your payment history until the upgrades are in effect
Wezzul> ...
Wezzul> you've gotta be kidding me
Analyst> They will be able to help you.
Wezzul> they will be able to hang up on me, as they generally do there.
Wezzul> hence the reason I use this instead. easy to actually get something done
Analyst> I am in the same office as these representatives
Analyst> sorry for the inconvenience
Wezzul> I am also sorry for it
Analyst> is there anything else I can assist you with today?
Wezzul> it's funny, I can sign up an account on comcast.com and I can have access to my billing information without providing any verification
Wezzul> but I can't do this
Analyst> What would you like me to do
Wezzul> help me with my problem
Wezzul> at the very least, explain to me what the $20 fee is for
Wezzul> i understand you have to try and verify me
Analyst> Thank you. One moment please while I gather the required information
Wezzul> however, I would imagine an account # and an address would be enough in this case, since I did not give an SSN when I signed up
Analyst> It is a credit to your account for -20.00
Analyst> It was an adjustment
Analyst> On July 12th
Wezzul> right. but what was the original $20 charge for
Wezzul> some service call
Analyst> I can only see as far back as 07-03-06 in the ledger.
Wezzul> the credit was supposed to be because comcast was 2.5 hours late when they setup the service
Wezzul> right, the service started on the 3rd
Analyst> It does show what the 20.00 is for. But they did credit it back
Wezzul> after that, at some point, there was a $20 charge, then the next day, there was a comcast on-time credit
Analyst> I am not billing department. I can't see the original 20.00 charge
Analyst> It is now off the account
Analyst> Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
Analyst> It was regarding a service call
Wezzul> right, I told you that
Wezzul> so, using thjis online form, selecting billing inquiry, does not connect me to the billing department?
Analyst> But they have not put any details in
Analyst> That is why I was asking you to call in, so they can provide you with additional information
Analyst> No it does not
Wezzul> You asked me to call in so that you didn't have to do any work
Analyst> would you like the number?
Analyst> I am sorry, did you receive my last message
Wezzul> if you have a direct #, yes, I would like it
Analyst> 1-800-266-2278
Analyst>Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
Wezzul> lol
Wezzul> 1-800-COMCAST
Wezzul> nice
Wezzul> well, you haven't helped me with anything yet, so I can't imagine you'd start now
Analyst> Thank you for chatting with Comcast. This chat can be printed out in the event that you need the information for future reference. After the chat, just click the "print" button. Thank you again for contacting Comcast. Have a great day!
Analyst> Analyst has closed chat and left room

She told me she'd be happy to assist me with my billing today. Not ten minutes later, she told me she didn't work in the billing department? What the fuck is she then? A goddamned robot or what? Don't tell me you can help me with my billing if you know damn well you can't.

Karma is a bitch, huh? (those that know me know what I mean)

Addendum: I was right. I called 1-800-COMCAST, and it disconnected me, telling me there was a high call volume.

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Shelby just posted something about a dinglez war. It seems that I was in first for dinglez at one point today, but am no longer. It's interesting to watch dinglez work through google's index, and have it change position sometimes multiple times a day. As if dinglez is such an important word.

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I just noticed comments are fucked up right now. I fixed it so you can post, but it's ugly. I'll take care of it later/tomorrow.

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This is funny solely because people are willing to ask for help, but when you give them a way to help themselves, they are unwilling to do anything about it:

(11:53:13) Eli z: Hi. I have a question. Are you there?
(11:53:21) Wezzul: yeap
(11:53:39) Eli z: Do you know about WordPress?
(11:53:51) Wezzul: yeah, sure..
(11:54:03) Wezzul: i don't use it at all, but i know enough people that do
(11:55:00) Eli z: Well, I got someone to code the backend of my site
(11:55:13) Eli z: And I'm not sure if he's ripping me off by using all wordpress code
(11:55:14) Wezzul: so what does wordpress have to do with it
(11:55:30) Eli z: ^
(11:55:51) Wezzul: did you look at the code adn compare it to wordpress code?
(11:56:05) Eli z: No, I don't have wordpress
(11:56:18) Wezzul: so get it...
(11:56:30) Eli z: Wnvm
(11:56:36) Wezzul: hahaha
(11:56:37) Wezzul: weak
(11:57:21) Wezzul: you want to know if you're being ripped off, but you don't want to do any work to find out...
(11:57:28) Eli z: I don't know how
(11:57:36) Wezzul: you don't know how to open a text file?
(11:58:24) Eli z: bye
(11:58:28) Wezzul: lol
(11:58:33) Wezzul: honestly, that's hillarious
(11:58:45) Wezzul: if you can't open a text file, you should start there, not with a website...
(11:58:56) Eli z: i dont know how to view the code of the site
(11:59:04) Wezzul: 1. open the file with notepad
(11:59:11) Wezzul: that's the only step
(12:00:03) Eli z: what file!
(12:00:12) Wezzul: any file you suspect is a file that is actually wordpress code...
(12:00:23) Eli z: the source
(12:00:28) Eli z: ? i dont have any files
(12:00:41) Wezzul: so the guy you are paying to do the backend hasn't produced any product at all?
(12:00:51) Eli z: he has
(12:00:58) Wezzul: do you have it?
(12:01:01) Eli z: yes
(12:01:03) Eli z: online
(12:01:04) Wezzul: ...
(12:01:08) Wezzul: so download it
(12:01:08) Eli z: not on my computer
(12:01:10) Eli z: how
(12:01:11) Wezzul: ftp
(12:01:33) Eli z: forget it
(12:01:38) Wezzul: too much work for you?
(12:01:42) Eli z: you could have helped by now
(12:01:44) Eli z: bye
(12:01:46) Wezzul: no i couldnt have
(12:01:53) Wezzul: i'd have had to download wordpress AND download the files from your webserver
(12:02:04) Wezzul: which is something you should at the very least be able to do....
(12:02:14) Wezzul: that's like webpage 101 shit there....
(12:02:53) Wezzul: definitely something you should learn to do...

I would like to point out that Eli Z actually runs/ran a webhosting company, but doesn't know how to FTP files. This is literally amazing to me. So, if you are looking for hosting, steer clear of siaro.com

Update:

I talked to Eli Z (also can be IM'ed at Siaro1), and sent him the link to this post. What follows are his thoughts on the post, and, his idea of the proper time to beat off, and his candid feelings on Eli P, his archnemesis:

(00:05:26) Wezzul: http://wezzul.com/AIM-Convos/758/Failing-Youth
(00:05:56) Eli z: Cool. Thanks!
(00:09:15) Wezzul: it just cracked me up how lazy people can be, and unwilling to help themselves....
(00:09:55) Eli z: I was in the middle of doing something which occupied my hand which didn't allow me to type or do anything.
(00:09:58) Eli z: If you get the drift.
(00:10:26) Wezzul: you were beating off?
(00:10:50) Eli z: possibly.
(00:11:06) Wezzul: nah, i think you're just dumb...
(00:11:12) Wezzul: but i guess oyu could be DUMB and have been beating of...
(00:11:29) Eli z: Think whatever, but at least remove my sn, please.
(00:11:32) Eli z: Or delete the z
(00:11:48) Wezzul: if i remove it, it takes away from the authenticity
(00:12:02) Eli z: make it a "p" then
(00:13:56) Wezzul: well, then it would be about someone else...
(00:13:58) Wezzul: like Eli P
(00:14:08) Wezzul: i don't wanna call out Eli P as lazy
(00:14:11) Wezzul: when clearly, he isn't
(00:14:19) Eli z: How is that clear?
(00:14:30) Wezzul: because I know Eli P
(00:14:33) Wezzul: he's a stand up guy
(00:14:36) Eli z: No he's not.
(00:14:41) Wezzul: he can open a document too
(00:14:53) Eli z: I know how to open a fucking document.
(00:15:10) Wezzul: uh-huh
(00:15:10) Eli z: I was just busy because I have better things to do than post some covo on my blog.
(00:15:18) Eli z: I hope you get a life.
(00:15:21) Wezzul: is that because you don't have a blog?
(00:15:27) Wezzul: because you can't find anyone to code one for you?
(00:15:37) Eli z: I have one already coded
(00:15:58) Wezzul: did you pay someone for wordpress?
(00:16:27) Eli z: No, I found out they didn't use WP.
(00:16:37) Wezzul: how did you find out?
(00:16:54) Eli z: I compared the code to that of WP, which didn't match up.
(00:17:22) Wezzul: YOU compared it?
(00:17:26) Wezzul: or you had someone else compare it?
(00:17:30) Eli z: No, I did.
(00:17:50) Wezzul: hey alright, i'm actually giving you a hand now. I now know you are one step closer to being Eli P. You can open a document.
(00:19:09) Eli z: I'm thrilled.
(00:19:25) Wezzul: i'd be thrilled if i learned to open a document too!
(00:20:25) Eli z: Is there anything you actually want? I don't see the purpose of continuing this conversation.
(00:20:48) Wezzul: i just wanted to point out what a lazy moron you are, but I think that point has been made... good day to you sir.

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This is my last dinglez ditch effort to rank for the word dinglez. Google seems to hate mah dinglez!

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I am now using mod_rewrite to do a bunch of stuff as far as making nice looking URLs point to pages that would normally have to have a query string. For instance, now, instead of going to something like http://wezzul.com/747/, you can go to http://wezzul.com/General/Festival!-Festival!-SMASH!. This is mostly for the search engines, though a URL without a query string looks a fuck of a lot better than one with one.

Dinglez to that, I'm happy that the site still interests me enough to work on it every so often.

Current Music: Utter Silence

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Being September 1st, the summer is now officially over in my head. I always have thought of the summer being June, July, and August. And with the summer being over, I'd like to point out a few things about some of the shows that were attended this summer.

Worst Show

Up until 07/25, there was no doubt in anyones mind what the worst show of the summer was. Unfortunately, most of the usual suspects did not even attend this one. It was me, Adam , and some girl who has since never come around. The show was Gil Mantera. Let me make this particularly clear: we attended the show because of pink spandex. The picture of the band shows one of them in a pink ski suit, one of them in a pink spandex jump suit. This seems like good enough reason to attend a show, right? After two mediocre opening bands (including The City on Film, Bob Nanna from Hey Mercedes' new band), Gil takes the stage. We stay for almost one song. I actually left WITH A BEER IN MY POCKET. I couldn't even finish a beloved PBR. How upsetting.

On 07/25, we attended a metal show. An awful metal show. We should have known something was up when we asked the bounced what band was on, and he wouldn't tell us. The band we had come to see, Heads Will Roll had already played and gone home. What we were left to see was a band that made liberal use of a gong. Give me a fucking break, a gong? We were at this show for less than a half hour. That is $1 for every five minutes we were there. Talk about a fucking rip off. This metal show, however, cleared Jake's name, as Gil Mantera was his idea. (we also came to find out later that Gil Mantera shows devolve into crazy debauchery. Oh, the regret)

Winner: Nondescript Metal Show (07/25)
Runner-up: Gil Mantera's Party Dream (06/29)


Drunkest Show

I would love to say that this is an easy one to pick, but it isn't. There were alot of shows where I was somewhat drunk. The one I recall being the worst was the Streetlight Manifesto show on 06/10. It was about 100 degrees outside. There was no re-entry, and me and Seabass got there way too early. There was one window and one door, at the back of the club. A combination of the profuse sweating and copious amounts of PBR between the hours of 8p and 3a (we hung out after hours) made for a crazy, drunken night. I remember waking up at Seabass' house, my feet covered in some unknown black tar-like substance. I used the decorative soap. His wife got mad. It still makes me laugh that Seabass, the silly motherfucker that he is, has decorative soap in his house. Nancy.

The Diver show had $0.50 PBR's. Nuff said.

Winner: Streetlight Manifesto (06/10)
Runner-up: Diver (07/06)


Funniest Goings-on

The people that I did most of my show-going with this summer like to drink. They like to get rowdy and crazy and stupid (and some of them like to fall asleep at the bar). In any case, I can think of two fairly funny moments of the summer. The first one was on 07/19 at the Constantines show. It was average at best (we were attending as someone compared the Constantines to Fugazi -- give me a break!). We drank some cheap beers and stood around for a while. My friend Angie was at the show, so we were talking with her. A friend of hers came up to be and Dylan and started talking to us like he knew us. His name was Neil. As he was talking, Dylan grabbed his beer and started drinking it. He didn't force it out of his hand, or make some quick move to obtain it; he non-chalantly just took the beer as if Neil was handing it to him. Neil walked away, not seeming too mad. About five minutes later, he comes back over and says "You took my beer!". Dylan replies with "Yeah. I did." and keeps drinking it. Neil comes back with "Do you know who I am?". Now I have no fucking clue who this kid is. Maybe he is important or rich or his parents told him he was more special than the other kids. However, that is no excuse to throw the old "Do you know who I am" around. You just sound like a tool saying shit like this. Neil walks away again, doing nothing. A bit later, we are outside talking to Katie and she mentions that at one point, Neil pushed a girl. Dylan, already looking for a reason to fight this kid, calls him out on it. I break this up. The ridicule of Neil resumes when he walks outside to leave, and his truck won't start. For some reason, he comes back up to the group of people making fun of him, and THEN proceeds to call AAA. Like he wanted us to see just how big of a jackass he actually is.

The other funny event that is clear in my head is from the 07/28 Hard Lessons show at Kraftbrau. It was all going well until Dylan got cut off, and Jeremy got thrown out. I guess Jeremy, from outside, punched through a window and stole a clock. Then he came back in with the clock (this is all vague to me, I didn't know of any of this). When I heard Jeremy got kicked out, I had to let the Kraftbrau folks know that there was better beer brewed across the street . They then threw me out, telling me to go across the street, where my kind belong. I guess my kind, those of us that like good beer, don't belong at Kraftbrau. It makes sense now. In any case, I heard that someone through a pint glass at the Kraftbrau building. I don't know who it was.

Winner: Constantines (07/19)
Runner-up: Hard Lessons (07/28)


Best Show

This one was a hard one. It could have been much harder has Bear vs. Shark played longer on 08/12, and had that show not been during the day. Thinking of seeing sunlight in Mac's still gives me the shakes. However, my favorite show was the first one of the summer, Bear vs. Shark on 06/06. This show was attended by myself, Adam , Mona , and Jake . I was totally blown away by BvS's presence and talent. I had only started listening to them earlier in the day, at the recommendation of Sean . I owe him big time for that now. I listened to them for about two months straight following the show, becoming very acquainted with both their albums.

Winner: Bear vs. Shark (06/06)
Runner-up: Hard Lessons (07/28)


Band of the Summer

For me, no question, Bear vs. Shark. I listened to them most of the summer in my car, I listened to them at work, and on my iPod. I love this band to death, lyrically and musically. I can't wait for them to put something else out.

I was also introduced to the Hard Lessons this summer thanks to Adam and Dylan. They put on an awesome live show, lots of energy, and seem like cool people as well. Easily the best band I know of to have come out of Lansing. I would see them every time they come around, the show is that good.

Winner: Bear vs. Shark (06/06, 08/12)
Runner-up: Hard Lessons (06/16, 07/28, 08/18)

Thanks to all the people that made all the shows fun this summer: Adam , Alia , Dan , Dylan, Jeremy, Mona , Neil, Sam and anyone else I'm forgetting. Leave comments or don't!

Edit: And Jake

Current Music: Turbonegro - Death from Above

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